and yet another.

I have a really good job right now, with my own office, but it turns out that I really don’t need to GO to that office to work; I can work just as well at home. For the past several days, I’ve been lazy and stayed home, in pajamas sometimes (like now), getting uncomfortable back pains from just sprawling out on the couch. For hours.

And the main reason this is a problem? Because I’m too blessed to be squandering my blessings like this. I have a good job that provides plentifully for my husband and me, and it also gives me an incredible amount of free time. I can ride my bike and enjoy this fall air. I can read all the books I’ve been piling up and planning to read. I can write things - FOR THE LOVE OF PETE, I CAN WRITE. And I do not do any of these things. I watch the Kardashians and the Jersey Shore kids, in my pajamas, while I surf around and read the stuff in my Google Reader even though it’s stupid. I think I’m a generally smart person, with interests and desires and dormant ambition, and I am definitely blessed in my current situation, in a way that many people (myself among them) often wish they could be blessed. And this smart, blessed person has been feeling pitiful and hopeless lately, and that is a result of eating cereal, wearing pajamas all day, and leaving my brain to sit out on the counter and mold.

Up next: a plan for change.